Empowering Individuals Through Responsibility and Intentional Action
At the heart of Reality Therapy, grounded in Choice Theory[1] by Dr. William Glasser, lies a radical and liberating proposition: we are not passive victims of our circumstances. We are active choosers of our responses. Every behavior, every emotion, and every thought is part of a pattern we can understand, evaluate, and, most importantly—change.
Two central tenets in this model are the focus on choice and the emphasis on a commitment to change.[2] These pillars are essential to the therapeutic process and to personal transformation, helping individuals shift from blaming and helplessness to empowerment and purposeful living.
The Choice Focus: Reclaiming Our Power
Glasser asserted that all behavior is chosen, not always consciously, and not always wisely, but chosen, nonetheless.[3] In Reality Therapy, therapists help clients understand that even their emotional states (like anger or anxiety) are often part of a behavioral pattern they can influence through different thinking and doing.
What Does It Mean to Focus on Choice?
- It means recognizing that we always have options, even in difficult situations.
- It means exploring what we are doing now, what we want, and what we might do differently to get closer to our goals.[4]
- It means letting go of blame—of ourselves, others, or circumstances—and asking, “What can I choose to do next?”
Examples of the Choice Focus in Action
- A client stuck in resentment might explore: “What do I gain by holding on to this? What might I choose instead?”
- Someone experiencing depression might examine: “What small action can I choose today that gives me a sense of accomplishment or connection?”
- A young adult avoiding responsibility might be asked: “How is this current behavior helping or hurting your goals?”
Choice doesn’t mean fault. It means possibility.[5] When clients begin to see that their current behaviors are not their only option, they can begin to imagine, and live a different kind of life.
Commitment to Change: Turning Insight into Action
Awareness is important. But awareness without action rarely transforms behavior. That’s why, in Reality Therapy, once a client identifies a more effective course of action, the next step is crucial: making a clear, actionable commitment to change.
Why Commitment Matters
- It solidifies intention and transforms vague desire into purposeful direction.[6]
- It fosters accountability, both internally and with the therapist.
- It marks the moment when the client stops waiting for change and begins creating it.
What Commitment Looks Like in Reality Therapy
- It’s concrete: “I will go to bed by 11 p.m. this week.”
- It’s within the client’s control: “I will practice deep breathing every morning,” rather than “I will make my partner stop criticizing me.”
- It’s collaboratively agreed upon with the therapist, and often followed up with self-evaluation: “How did that go?”
The commitment is not about perfection. It’s about practice and learning from what works and what doesn’t.
From Choice to Commitment: A Reality Therapy Flow
- Clarify the Want: What do you truly want right now? What need are you trying to meet?
- Examine Current Behavior: What are you doing to get it? Is that working?
- Introduce the Choice Concept: What else could you do? What might be more effective?
- Evaluate Willingness to Change: Are you ready to do something different?
- Make a Concrete Commitment: What specific step will you take, and when?
- Follow Up with Reflection: How did it go? What did you learn? What’s next?
This process moves the client from passive awareness to active ownership, one intentional choice at a time.
Common Barriers—and How Reality Therapy Addresses Them
| Barrier | How Reality Therapy Responds |
| “I can’t change—I’ve always been this way.” | Yes, and what might you do differently today? |
| “They’re the problem, not me.” | What is in your control right now? What can you choose to do differently? |
| “I tried and failed.” | Great—you learned something. What’s the next best step?
|
| “I don’t know what I want.” | Let’s explore your quality world and what matters to you. |
The Therapist’s Role: Guide, Not Enforcer
- In Reality Therapy, the therapist is not a fixer, rescuer, or authority figure. Instead, they are a collaborative guide who:
- Builds a trusting, need-fulfilling relationship
- Helps clients clarify their needs and goals
- Encourages self-evaluation of behaviors
- Supports realistic planning and follow-through
- Honors the client’s autonomy while fostering accountability
Change is not imposed—it is chosen.
Case Example: Choice and Commitment in Practice
Daniel, a 27-year-old entrepreneur, came to therapy overwhelmed by burnout and self-criticism. He described working 14-hour days, constant stress, and feeling “trapped” in his success. Through Reality Therapy, he identified his underlying needs: freedom, competence, and fun.
His current behaviors (overworking, isolating) were attempting to meet those needs—but ineffectively. He began to see the choices available to him:
- Saying “no” to certain projects
- Scheduling time with friends
- Delegating tasks
- Practicing mindfulness
Each week, Daniel made a clear commitment to one new action. He wasn’t perfect—but he was progressing. Over time, he rebalanced his life, not by escaping his business, but by choosing to live it differently.
Conclusion: Empowerment Through Choice and Commitment
In a world where people often feel powerless or stuck, Reality Therapy offers a different message:
You are not a passive observer of your life. You are its author.
By focusing on the choices, we make and by committing to changes—however small—we open the door to transformation. Through Reality Therapy, clients learn not just to cope with life, but to create it with clarity, courage, and intention.
Join us for our 8-Week Certificate Course on Reality Therapy!
🗓 Date: Wednesday, May 21, 2025
⏰ Time: 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM Eastern Time
📍 Location: Online
[1] Levin, Jonathan, and Paul Milgrom. “Introduction to choice theory.” Sep. 2004,
[2] Cisse, G. S., and W. J. Casstevens. “CHOICE THEORY TO EMPOWER COMMUNITY CHANGE.” International Journal of Choice Theory & Reality Therapy 30.2 (2011).
[3] Glasser, William. Choice theory: A new psychology of personal freedom. HarperPerennial, 1999.
[4] Wubbolding, Robert E. “Reality therapy/Choice theory.” Counseling and psychotherapy: Theories and interventions 1 (2011): 263-85.
[5] Wubbolding, Robert E. “Choice theory/reality therapy: Issues to ponder.” International Journal of Choice Theory & Reality Therapy 32.2 (2013).
[6] Rizki, Fauza, and Muhaammad Nur Wangid. “Effectiveness of Reality Technique Group Counseling Against Reduction Academic Procrastination of Students at State Islamic Madrasah 1 Central Aceh.” International Journal Of Humanities Education and Social Sciences 3.1 (2023).