In a previous article, entitled, Wearing Your Psychodynamically Informed Hat: Elaboration on the Concept of Defense Mechanism, I explained that Dan’s kind gesture was an example of a mature defense mechanism, known as altrui
Sublimation
“I’m here because I fight a lot. I get into trouble with the law, and my attorney and social worker told me to come
Here are the details of our conversation:
Me: How did you learn to be a fighter? (I was looking for an explanatory model, but in an indirect way.)
Junior: It’s been the only way I’ve been able to get people get off my back. When they tease me, I ask them to stop, they keep going at it until I start fighting.
Me: You seem to be very good at it. (Strength model)
Junior: Well, it’s been working for me; so, I guess I am. (Junior said this while smiling.)
Me: Have you ever thought of becoming a boxer? (Intentional pause)
Junior: All my life, I wanted to become a boxer. My dad laughed at me, my mom told me it was too dangerous, and ever since, nothing has happened. How did you know that?
Me: I don’t know. I am simply asking.
Junior: No. How would you know to ask that?
Me: Well, I guess I am the doctor (Using a bit of humor, to diffuse a bit, and make sure we stay on this topic). Well, ok. You have been fighting all your life; you have been successful at getting people off your back, just through fighting. I am just thinking there are ways for you to do that without you getting into trouble, and boxing might be it.
Junior: I always wanted to be a boxer. I wanted to be like Mohamad Ali. I admire him. He’s my idol.
Me: Let’s then take steps to make that happen for you. First, how important is it for you right now to do that?
Junior: Very important. I would give it a 12 out of 10.
Me: This is good. Now, what are the first steps do you think you need to take right now for this?
Junior: I have no idea. I wouldn’t know where to even start.
Me: It seems that way. How ready do you think you are for this?
Junior: I don’t know about being ready, but I’ve always wanted to do that.