A problem is defined as an unwelcome or harmful situation that is to be dealt with or overcome. From a Cognitive Neuroscience Perspective, a situation is not a problem unless one thinks he or she is unable to deal with it or lacks the skill to do so. On the other hand, from a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy perspective, one’s perception about a situation and not the situation itself determines the feelings and behaviors that follow. And, in Logotherapy, it is the moment we assign a different meaning to a situation that the situation changes.
What is a problem? When is a situation considered to be a problem? Why are there so many variants when it comes to a problem? And what does it all mean?
From the start, whenever there are so many variables about something, it is a clear indication that it is not rooted in Reality-Based thinking. Yet, we all talk about problems. We see problems as the ultimate cause of suffering. Given that everything related to suffering is framed as a problem, understanding problems from a Reality-Based thinking is an essential milestone for all of us, as we make the shift from an Illusion-Based Thinking to a Reality-Based Thinking. For us to do so, let’s first look at a model used in Science and academia on the proper way to solve a problem. Once done, it will be apparent why it is so important to understand “problems” as they are and for what they are. It will also be apparent why our relationship with “problems,” may be the problem, and how we can change that.
When using the problem-solving process model, the following are the first five steps:
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Identifying the problem
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Defining the problem
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Agreeing on the problem
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Identifying the cause of the problem
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Identifying the root cause of the problem
Based on the First Step, it is clear that we cannot solve a problem that we have failed to identify. Clarity is also essential, according to Step Two; when analyzed further we start to see the variability of what we call problem. In other words, what I might define as a problem may be perceived differently by someone else and not a problem. This is also related to Step Three, where it may be difficult for everyone to agree on the problem given how perceptions, coping skills, belief systems, attitudes, or values vary from person to person.
Before moving forward here are some examples:
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Someone who is not married may make this a problem for him or herself; while someone else may simply make this a strength, having the opportunity to travel whenever, with whomever, and wherever, they want, without having to wait for someone else or having to ask someone else for permission.
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Here’s a second example: Someone does not have any children despite several attempts. He or she makes this the biggest problem in his or her life to the point where he or she identifies not having children as his or her biggest failure. He or she then sees his or herself as the biggest failure, regardless of what other types of accomplishments he or she may have had. On the other hand, a different person may again make the failure of not having children a symbol of freedom, a symbol of dedication to all children in the world, or even a symbol of the ability to dedicate his or her whole time to his or her career.
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Here’s a third example: Someone may start panicking due to not having enough money in the bank account to pay the rent that is due in five days. This person automatically makes this a problem even though the rent is not due today but in five days. Someone else under the same circumstances may make this an opportunity to make use of his or her resourcefulness. This may be an opportunity to think of strategies; using some savings this time; or making more sales in his or her business this week; or work some overtime; or borrow some money as an opportunity to practice letting go of an unhealthy and illusory independence. This might even be an opportunity to practice letting go of shame or embarrassment by going to talk to the landlord and explain that the rent may be delayed and that her or she is going to make sure that it is on time, going forward. In this vein, this may be that golden opportunity to finally look at his or her finances and decide what current practices require adjustment to ensure that things like rent, utilities, other bills get prioritized. In any case, that person is looking at growth, and embracing the opportunity to be taught.
These three examples may suffice to clarify that what we call problem is simply a variable, it changes from one person to the next; it changes from one moment to the next for the same person, and therefore cannot be real. For what is real cannot change, while what is unreal cannot exist. In other words, problems cannot exist.
Yet, the fact that one person makes an opportunity out of a situation while the other person makes a problem out of the same situation, explains only part of how and why a problem is a construct that we have created ourselves. The other part of the puzzle lies in steps Four and Five of the First Five Steps of the Problem-Solving Process outlined above.
Step four states: Identify the cause of the problem, while step five states: Identify the root cause of the problem. In the face of any situation, we tend to respond through either one or a combination of the following ways, all of which are based on how we responded in the past to either the same situation or to a similar one:
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We judge the situation (though we barely understand what the situation is about and we are only going by the images going through our mind, which are the effects of thought; and we forget that judging is simply a matter of projection, whereby expressing how inadequate we feel, how hopeless and helpless we feel; and how much of a lack of coping skills we feel to have at the moment.)
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We get upset and jump to conclusions (Because we have no idea what things are for and we forget that we are not really upset for the reason we think we are, which means we are actually upset over something meaningless)
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We become fearful (Because of the lack of awareness or because we forget that everything is always for our own best interest, as it has been naturally designed for everyone and everything)
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We attack both ourselves and the situation (because we sense our self-image is being threatened which intensifies our fear, including a fear of dying given the attack to our self-image, and we are ready to fight because we are not ready to let go of our Illusory and false self-image, “No, not yet, not this time, I prefer to fight,” we say. What we forget, of course, is that we do not really perceive anything. There is actually nothing there, and everything is meaningless, including the meaning we assign to things. That clearly helps explain why two different people who cannot have children, where one is happy and one is miserable; or why two people are five days away from their rent being due, and one is miserable while the other one perceives an opportunity to stretch him or herself. Furthermore, at times we fail to remember that we cannot really see a problem, that a problem can exist only in our thoughts, and that our thoughts are unreal, meaningless, and illusory)
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We perceive ourselves as being victimized (not understanding that we can only be the victim of our own making, our thinking, our illusion, and our meaning)
As we can see, whichever of the above five ways we use to respond to any situation in life, none of these responses seem to have much to do with the so-called “problem.” In other words, we seem to be missing the root cause of the problem. What if all the situations we call problems are called problems because of our perception, but also because we miss the fact that they are not meant to be problems, rather indications of the real problem, if any? But even then, even when we understand that what we call problems are not problems but merely the indicators of a real problem, what would that real problem be? And what would that mean in reality?
When someone has Major Depressive Disorder, he or she may show a number of symptoms that include sleep disturbance, appetite disturbance, lack of energy, anhedonia, guilt, or suicidal ideation. In such a case, we know that the best way to address this is not regarding each of these symptoms as the problem itself; rather, to regard all these symptoms as the manifestations of one condition, notably the Major Depressive Disorder. This analogy implies that everything that we call problems, and all the situations labeled as problems, are merely the manifestations of one problem and one problem alone.
Do you know what this problem is?
If you took class #12 of the Psychotherapy Certificate Course, then you know what the one and only problem is. If this is the case, what have you been making of this new insight?
We will have subsequent articles on this one and only problem and we look forward to speaking with you again through next week’s article.
Meanwhile, may you continue to practice, review, and ponder upon some of the most intriguing insights that we have obtained through this first quarter of the course, so far. Let us allow these insights to use us as we slowly but surely elevate ourselves to a new, transformed and outstanding way of being in the world, both as a clinician and as an individual.
Happy Holidays!
Until soon,
Karen and Mardoche