NLP and “Relationship.” The Secret Behind the Word

The word “relationship” is defined as: “The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected.” In NLP, its definition goes beyond that, and in this lies the secret behind the word.

We do not relate only to others but also to ourselves. We relate to the world and life. We relate to our present, our future, and our past. Of course, our present, future, and past are illusory constructs, but constructs that we use, and which we therefore relate to. We also relate to what we have, what we are, what we do, our wants, and desires. In this vein, we relate to our senses: what we see, hear, and of course, what we feel.

Little do we know that how we relate to everything plays a significant role in the quality of our life, whether we suffer or not and how much, and whether we know authentic happiness or not.

As an example, how we relate to ourselves tells us how highly we think of ourselves, and as a result, tells others how to treat us. How we relate to others, tell others what we think of them and, again, how we expect them to treat us. It is easy to see a conundrum here, which is understood by two words: Empowerment and Disempowerment. Empowerment and disempowerment fully describe the two ways we relate: in an empowering way and in a disempowering way.

The curious thing here is that in some areas of our lives, we relate with power, in an empowering way, and in other areas of our lives, we relate in a disempowering way. And each of these two ways of relating leads to different results.

For example, when we relate to things, people, ourselves, or the world, in an empowering way, we understand that we are responsible for the results we see in our lives. Instead of blaming ourselves or others, we take a step back, look at what belief may have been driving these unwanted results, and take steps to shift them accordingly.

On the other hand, when we relate to ourselves, life, others, or the world, in a disempowering way, we tend to live life from an outside-in approach. We think that what we experience is a result of what’s happening around us instead of a result of our internal representations of whatever it is that we are relating to. We blame ourselves, our past, our parents, our genes, our loved ones, the world, life, God, and everything in between.

Of course, we feel just a bit better when we blame.  We don’t realize, however, that nothing ever changes from blaming, but we get trapped in it because “I can’t help it.” How disempowering.

There is another way.

On Saturday, October 31, 2020, we will have the next webinar in our NLP Certificate Course: our Gestalt’s Principle. We will be speaking about Immediacy, Determinants of States, Self-Regulation, among other elements that we will use to help ourselves, loved ones, and our patients and clients shift from a disempowering way of relating to an empowering manner of navigating the world.

If ceasing suffering is something that you care about it, you will then join us on Saturday. We welcome you with anticipation and look forward to seeing you then.

Until soon,
Karen and Mardoche