The three main modes of learning are classical conditioning, operant conditioning, and social modeling. We know from classical conditioning that we have all been conditioned to speak a certain way, think a certain way, have certain beliefs or values, and behave a certain way. Unfortunately, we have lived our lives, taking all this for granted. Rarely have we stopped and wonder, “where do my beliefs come from?” In fact, we fiercely defend our beliefs under the premise that they represent the “Truth.” Now, there are about 7.7 billion of us on the planet, each believing that “ My Truth” is the “Truth.” Now, that does not sound logical does itt? Something is obviously missing here.
We all have been socialized, including our parents, our grandparents, great grandparents, and so on. But what does having been “socialized” mean? It means we have been raised based on a series of norms that we as a society have agreed to, either explicitly or implicitly. At one level, there is value in this. We have agreements, boundaries, rules, we also have consensus and expectations. All of which have been passed down from one group and one generation to the next. And, again we rarely ask how and why it all started. The failure to wonder and ask questions is fine, until we realize the number of things we once blindly accepted as true, which later on have been found to be the total opposite time and time again.
Many of the beliefs associated with our norms are based on how we understood things at the time. As time has passed, however, more and more is known about how things work; yet we still hold the same beliefs. We take them for granted, and as a result, we continue to run our lives on old, limiting beliefs that no longer serve us. And, we still rarely ever stop to wonder why.
The process of socialization or programming we have all undergone occurred through modeling, and NLP provides us with a pathway of effective modeling that leads to understanding Truth for what it actually is and allows us to live in Freedom. It does require, however, some consciousness or awareness. It requires the awareness of what we want, why we want it, and how important it is for us to have it. It also requires us to be clear on how things will look when we actually obtain what we want; what it might take for us to get it; when do we want it; and what obstacles do we foresee as we attempt to reach there. It also requires us to be clear on how we will be managing those obstacles; what the first three steps are, and the first thing that can be done right now.
The above 9 questions consist of the CAWW, which is not necessarily a central part of NLP, but which is one of the best tools to use to bring the highest level of clarity when it comes to modeling for anyone to then achieve the level of excellence or the type of outstanding performance they may desire.
Now, so far, we have said that NLP brings our attention to the programming, helps us undo it, helps us reprogram ourselves, and helps us remodel others to achieve excellence. Now, to reprogram and model for others, some new habits are to be adopted, and for that, operant conditioning is a place to look.
Operant Conditioning is that third type of learning, and positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, and rewards are important concepts. In this case, as the Science of Life, NLP, draws from different sources to help us not only un-program but to maximize our choice of new programming that works for us.
We are about to finish our first edition of NLP, and the 2nd edition starts in January. Are you ready to take advantage of this excellent modality? If so, contact us, so you learn about the application process.
See you then,
Karen and Mardoche
About the Authors:
Karen Dubin-McKnight, PhD, LCSW, is a Columbia-trained Social Worker with wide clinical, teaching, and supervision experience. She also has a background in management, mentorship, and leadership that spans almost 20 years. Her added passion is in advocacy, coaching, public relations, and mediation. Her goal is to ensure that social workers and women feel empowered and have a voice “at the table.” She has previously held Executive level positions, and two other directorships in different organizations. She is currently Adjunct Faculty at Columbia University School of Social Work and Adelphi University School of Social Work. She also maintains a private practice, working with individuals who have experienced loss and trauma, and also provides clinical and management supervision.
Mardoche Sidor, MD is a Harvard-trained Quadruple Board Certified Psychiatrist, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University, School of Physicians and Surgeons. He is trained in and taught all the major psychotherapeutic modalities, including and not limiting to CBT, DBT, Family Systems, and Psychodynamic Psychotherapy. He is also the author of 3 books including Journey to Empowerment; Discovering Your Worth; and The Power of Faith. Dr. Sidor has worked both as a primary care physician and as Medical director in three different settings, including as Chief Medical Officer of Center for Alternative Sentencing and Employment Services (CASES). He is the Founder and CEO of the SWEET Institute.