The Power Behind “I Don’t Know” in Psychoanalysis: Unveiling Deeper Truths Through Free Association

In psychoanalysis, free association serves as one of the most critical tools to access the unconscious mind.[1] It allows the patient to speak freely, expressing thoughts without filtering, in an effort to uncover hidden conflicts, desires, and emotions. However, it is common for individuals undergoing psychoanalysis to repeatedly say, “I don’t know” during free association. While seemingly innocuous, this phrase holds significant meaning within the therapeutic process and often reflects deep psychological resistance, avoidance, or even the emergence of unconscious material.

Understanding Free Association: The Gateway to the Unconscious
Free association, first pioneered by Sigmund Freud, invites the patient to verbalize whatever comes to mind, without editing or censoring thoughts. Freud believed that this technique would help patients bypass their conscious defenses, providing access to the repressed and hidden content of the unconscious mind. Over time, psychoanalysts have recognized that patterns in speech—including repetitions of seemingly simple phrases like “I don’t know”—can be indicative of larger, unconscious dynamics.

“I Don’t Know”: A Defense Against Anxiety
One of the most common interpretations of “I don’t know” in psychoanalysis is that it serves as a defense mechanism.[2] Defense mechanisms, as described by Anna Freud (1936)[3], protect the ego from anxiety and psychological discomfort. When a patient frequently utters “I don’t know,” it may signify that they are unconsciously approaching material that feels threatening, either emotionally or psychologically. The phrase can act as a shield, allowing the individual to avoid confronting the repressed material that is beginning to surface.

This defense[4] is particularly effective because it stalls the therapeutic process, halting the flow of free association and creating a temporary barrier between the patient and their unconscious mind. According to psychoanalyst Melanie Klein[5], individuals often use denial or avoidance when they sense that painful emotions—such as guilt, shame, or fear—are about to emerge. The phrase “I don’t know” can, therefore, be a subtle form of denial, preventing the patient from fully experiencing and processing these emotions.

Fear of Vulnerability and Judgment
The therapeutic space is a unique environment that encourages vulnerability[6], yet not all individuals feel comfortable exposing their deepest thoughts and emotions, especially early in the treatment process. Saying “I don’t know” may indicate a fear of judgment or rejection, even if the fear is irrational within the supportive context of therapy. Individuals may worry that their thoughts, feelings, or desires are inappropriate or unacceptable, and this anxiety manifests in their reluctance to express themselves fully.

This dynamic can also be linked to what psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott described as the “false self.” The “false self” is a persona created to protect the individual from perceived external judgment or criticism. In the therapy room, the patient may struggle to let go of this protective layer, and “I don’t know” becomes a way to preserve the false self, avoiding the risk of revealing their true, vulnerable self.

Dissociation and Emotional Disconnection
In some cases, “I don’t know” might reflect a deeper dissociation or emotional disconnection. Dissociation is a psychological state in which a person becomes detached from their thoughts, feelings, or sense of self, often as a result of trauma or prolonged emotional neglect. When an individual dissociates, they may genuinely struggle to articulate their emotions or thoughts, leading to a disjointed or fragmented narrative in therapy.

For these individuals, saying “I don’t know” may not be a conscious defense but rather a reflection of their inability to access the full spectrum of their emotional experience. Psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion referred to this phenomenon as a breakdown in “thinking” or the capacity to symbolize emotions. In this context, “I don’t know” serves as a placeholder for the emotions the patient is unable to fully experience or articulate.

Transference Dynamics: Handing Over Responsibility
The repetition of “I don’t know” can also be examined through the lens of transference. Transference refers to the projection of feelings, desires, or expectations from the patient onto the therapist, often rooted in early relationships with caregivers. When a patient continuously says, “I don’t know,” they may be unconsciously deferring responsibility for understanding their inner world to the therapist. In this scenario, the patient views the therapist as the “knower,” while positioning themselves as dependent or passive.

This dynamic can reflect unresolved dependency[7] issues from childhood, where the individual may have relied heavily on a parent or caregiver to make sense of their emotions or experiences. The phrase “I don’t know” in this context symbolizes a form of transference that reveals the patient’s wish for the therapist to “fill in the blanks” or provide answers that the patient may feel incapable of discovering on their own.

Avoidance of Internal Conflict
Another possibility is that “I don’t know” serves as a way to avoid internal conflict[8]. In psychoanalytic theory, individuals often experience ambivalence or contradictory feelings toward people, situations, or desires. For example, a person may simultaneously feel love and resentment toward a partner or a parent. Confronting these conflicting emotions can be overwhelming and saying “I don’t know” allows the individual to sidestep the need to engage with these difficult internal battles.

This avoidance[9] can prevent the patient from fully integrating their emotional experiences, leading to stagnation in therapy. By helping the patient explore what lies behind the “I don’t know,” the therapist can guide them toward a deeper understanding of their internal conflicts and ultimately support their emotional integration and healing.

Conclusion: A Doorway to Deeper Insights
While “I don’t know” may initially seem like a simple expression of uncertainty, its repetition during free association in psychoanalysis often signifies much more. Whether it serves as a defense mechanism, reflects a fear of vulnerability, indicates dissociation, or highlights transference dynamics, the phrase can be a valuable entry point into the patient’s unconscious. A skilled therapist will recognize the potential meaning behind “I don’t know” and gently encourage the patient to explore the feelings and thoughts they are resisting.

By doing so, the therapeutic process can break through the barriers of defense, bringing the individual closer to their authentic self and enabling them to confront and resolve the unresolved conflicts and emotions that lie beneath the surface.

[1] Lothane, Henry Zvi. “Free association as the foundation of the psychoanalytic method and psychoanalysis as a historical science.” Psychoanalytic Inquiry 38.6 (2018): 416-434.

[2] Gerhardt, Julie, and Charles Stinson. ““I don’t know”;: Resistance or groping for words? The construction of analytic subjectivity.” Psychoanalytic Dialogues 5.4 (1995): 619-665.

[3] Young-Bruehl, Elisabeth. Anna Freud: a biography. Yale University Press, 2008.

[4] Cramer, Phebe. “Understanding defense mechanisms.” Psychodynamic psychiatry 43.4 (2015): 523-552.

[5] Kristeva, Julia. Melanie Klein. Vol. 2. Columbia University Press, 2001.

[6] Aron, Lewis. “Mutual vulnerability.” Otherness and subjectivity in contemporary psychoanalysis (2016): 19-41.

[7] Deitchman, Alyssa M. Interpersonal Dependency and Depression: A Meta-Analytic Review. Adelphi University, 2020.

[8] Sabbadini, Andrea. “Conflict: Internal and External.” British Journal of Psychotherapy 37.2 (2021): 319-326.

[9] Cassidy, Jude, and R. Rogers Kobak. “Avoidance and its relation to other defensive processes.” Clinical implications of attachment. Routledge, 2015. 300-323.