The Appreciation Exercise: Why Your Gratitude Exercise May Not Be Working And What You Can Do Instead

The more we have, the more we have, and the more we don’t have, the more we don’t have. This clause may sound oddly repetitive, perhaps a little confusing, or not at all sophisticated, yet it embodies the essence of how our brain works-that is, by association. The associative property of the brain cannot be emphasized enough. It is pervasive, it is its pattern, and it creates it everywhere. From thought to feeling, from perception to behavior, from belief to relationship, our brain has been wired to give us more of the same as long as there is enough focus or attention given, be it on a conscious or unconscious level.  So, if our thought, perception or belief, is that we have, then the more we will have.  That is the association our brain makes.  Similarly, if our thought, perception or belief, is that we don’t have, then we will continue to not have.  We cannot focus on what you don’t have and then have it.  It doesn’t work that way.

This summarized explanation of the brain’s associative property lays the foundation for a simple yet powerful exercise known as Gratitude, which at SWEET, we call the Appreciation Exercise.

Research has extensively studied the practice of gratitude. The interest has increased because rigorous scientists and researchers really wanted to know if this practice really works, and why so many authentically successful individuals use it on a daily basis. They also wanted to understand, on a very basic level, why such a simple practice would be making a difference.

What we know from the findings, is that not only those who practice gratitude do better in most areas of their lives, those who don’t practice, see little or no improvement in their lives, or sometimes see their life situations worsening. This includes areas of relationships, finances, and careers, to name a few.

What we also know is that when people practice their gratitude consistently, their results are also more consistent and they are also more readily available to receive the positive outcomes of their practice.  However, when there is an inconsistency in how people engage in their gratitude practice, the results can also be inconsistent, and the person’s receptivity to the benefits of the practice also waxes and wanes based on what they are currently focused on.  This is the rationale behind the Appreciation Exercise. Below are some steps to follow to help any patients or clients enhance their gratitude practice, to be consistent in their efforts, and to focus on what they are doing and why. This technique is known as the Appreciation Exercise.

Indications:

The Appreciation Exercise can be used for everyone, with or without a known mental health condition. In Mental Health, whether in the presence of symptoms of depression, anxiety, trauma, or personality traits or disorders, the Appreciation Exercise can be used as an adjunctive treatment for the same.

Select three areas in your life pertaining to your relationships that you are grateful for.

• Then say, for example,

  • I am grateful for my partner having brought me breakfast in bed today

  • I am grateful for my daughter who finished her homework on time and before going to play;

  • I am grateful for my sister who watched the kids for me to take my partner to dinner

• Select three areas in your life pertaining to your work and career that you are grateful for.

  • Then say, for example,

    • I am grateful for my co-worker who covered my work when I had to take care of my mother at home

    • I am grateful for having a work position where I can grow

    • I am grateful for having a job that helps me pay the bills, and I look forward to my next opportunity

• Select three areas in your life pertaining to yourself and yourself only.

• Then say, for example,

  • I am grateful for having my own car and I love to drive

  • I am grateful for living in a place where public transportation is so easily accessible

  • I am grateful for living in the United States

These are, of course, examples, and individuals are expected to come up with their own. What matters is that that which one is grateful for is likely to be emphasized to the brain, given the associative property of the brain. Remember, we learn by association.

Additional benefits and Recommendations:

Saying I am grateful is translated into a thought for the brain. Thoughts are usually associated with emotions but for that to happen these thoughts are to be focused upon. This means the appreciation exercise or the practice of gratitude can NOT be executed like a chore, like a checklist, or like something to get out of the way for the day. Any way you choose to do it until it is formed as a habit, is perfect, as long as you focus as you do it.