“The Story She Told Herself Was Killing Her”

How Dynamic Deconstructive Psychotherapy Helps Clients Unravel Their Deepest, Most Damaging Beliefs

Lianne wasn’t a danger to anyone—except herself. Thirty-three years old, successful on the outside, yet her inner world was a constant war zone. Every mistake confirmed her deepest fear:

“I’m not enough. I never have been.”

She didn’t say this out loud—not at first.
Instead, she said things like:

• “I’m just dramatic.”
• “I ruin everything.”
• “They’ll leave when they find out who I really am.”

It was Carlos, her new therapist, who finally asked her to slow down.

“Where did that belief start?” he asked gently one day, after she’d described panicking when her boss didn’t reply to an email.

She laughed it off. “I’ve always been like this.”

But Carlos didn’t laugh. He waited.

Eventually, a memory surfaced. Third grade. She spilled orange juice on a class project. Her teacher called her “careless” in front of everyone. Her father, already withdrawn, didn’t even look up from his newspaper when she told him. In that moment, she made a decision—one that would become her lifelong narrative:

“I mess things up. People give up on me.”

The Power of Story in DDP
This moment—where a single emotion-laden memory becomes a belief—is what Dynamic Deconstructive Psychotherapy (DDP)[1] is designed to find, unpack, and heal.

Many clients live inside these inherited emotional “scripts”—narratives shaped not by truth, but by trauma. DDP doesn’t just challenge these scripts with logic. It helps clients deconstruct them—layer by layer—by revisiting the feelings and meanings that formed them.[2]

Lianne wasn’t broken. She had built an emotional fortress around herself. It protected her from rejection but also imprisoned her in a story that never let her grow.

The DDP Difference: Deconstruction, Not Destruction
Unlike some therapies that aim to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, DDP invites clients to become curious investigators of their own inner world. It’s not about slapping affirmations over trauma—it’s about revisiting, reliving, and reinterpreting with support.[3]

Carlos didn’t say, “You’re wrong.”
He said, “Let’s understand why it feels true.”

And so, over weeks, Lianne began to notice the themes in her thinking. She began catching herself mid-story:
“He didn’t text back. That means—wait—do I know he’s angry? Or am I assuming I ruined something again?”

That small shift—from emotional certainty to thoughtful curiosity—is one of the most powerful outcomes of DDP. And it changed everything.

When the Story Shifts, So Does the Life
A few months into therapy, Lianne faced a true test: Her friend forgot her birthday. The old story would have screamed: “See? You don’t matter.” But instead, she paused. She reflected. She sent a message—calmly. Her friend apologized. They laughed. They made plans. And Lianne realized something extraordinary:

“Maybe I’ve been telling the wrong story about myself.”
That moment wasn’t just therapeutic.
It was revolutionary.

CALL TO ACTION:
Do you work with clients trapped in painful internal narratives?
Are you ready to help them rewrite their emotional lives—not by force, but through compassionate deconstruction?

Join us for our four-hour Virtual Conference on Dynamic Deconstructive Psychotherapy, and learn how to use deep narrative work, emotional attunement, and real-time meaning-making to change lives.

Date: Friday, June 13, 2025
Time: 9-1pm (EDT)
Click HERE to Register

Let’s rewrite the story—together.

Reserve Your Spot Now

[1] Jurist, Julia, et al. “Dynamic Deconstructive Psychotherapy.” Handbook of Good Psychiatric Management for Borderline Personality Disorder and Alcohol Use Disorder (2024): 233.

[2] Gregory, Robert J. “Manual of Dynamic Deconstructive Psychotherapy.”

[3] Gregory, Robert J. “The Deconstructive Experience.” American Journal of Psychotherapy, vol. 59, no. 3, 2005, pp. 295–305.