What is Life About?: The Enigma behind Personality Disorders

Don’t you find it baffling that we take care of patients, guide them through decision-making, help them develop a healthier relationship with their emotions, and thoughts; with others, themselves, and life; yet, we aren’t even clear on what life is all about? Even worse, when was the last time we thought about asking such a question, exploring it, or pondering upon it?

Do you think it is a question worth asking? Do you know the answer? Is your answer to this question a limiting one or one that helps you live life fully, peacefully, with freedom, and authentic happiness? [1] Moreover, where have you learned the answer to this question?

What is life about? 

One of SWEET Institute’s projects is the design of an innovative model of care, where patients’ outcomes are judged not by whether they take their medications or whether they stay away from the hospital or not. Rather, a model of care, where patients’ results are measured by their ability to work, love, and play. But this is only part of how the outcomes will be measured. For purpose is meaning and the patients’ outcomes will be measured by their ability to work, not because society requires them to work; not because society interprets “not working” as worthlessness; rather, they will work because they will find nothing more natural because working will be one way they will be fulfilling their purpose.

Equally, our patients will love not because this is what society expects of them. Rather, because they will have learned to love themselves in such a way that they will find nothing more natural than loving others and everyone else, for that matter. Because this is what comes out of loving ourselves authentically-we end up loving others as ourselves.

Lastly, they will play, not because society will have dictated to them that they must have fun, or they must rest, or they must seek happiness. Rather, they will find that happiness is innate, joy is innate, freedom is innate. They will find that when you express all this, the most natural thing is to play, to have fun, to follow our passion, all in the most playful way and to help bring joy and fun to the world, in the process.

Yet, this SWEET project means we will need clinicians who can help guide our patients to get to this point, where they can make the distinction between what society dictates and what Really Is. What is really True. What is Real. The clinicians who will work with these patients, then, will have fully and clearly answered the following questions for themselves:

1. Who Are You?
2. Why Are You Here?
3. What is Life About?

The clinicians who are not clear on the answer to these questions for themselves will be unable to guide our patients through answering these questions. Clinicians will not only have to answer these questions on an intellectual level but also will have to experience the answers for themselves. For can we really guide our patients through life when we have no idea what life is all about? Worse so, can we really help our patients navigate life when our concept about life is an erroneous one?

What is life about?

Our concept of what life is all about is so limiting that we all end up using defenses to navigate life. The use of such defenses are expressed in personality traits [2]. We then make personality traits a “disease” to which we say there is no cure[3]. “Those people with personality disorders will never get better. There is no treatment for personality disorders.” All this faulty reasoning is one of the several consequences of not knowing the answers to the above questions – Not knowing what life is all about.

You are in this field to make a difference for your patients, your loved ones, yourself, and the world. You have been trying so many things but to no avail, or at most, with very limited outcomes. What if there were another way? What if personality disorder were not as you thought it was? What if you could start making a drastic difference, going forward, with the correct tools and strategies.

If you are ready for this, join us on Friday, February 12th for our full-day 6 CEU online live seminar on Personality Disorders. Come and learn what part of you has been looking for all along, and be ready to elevate yourself to a different way of being in the world.

We will see you then,
Karen and Mardoche

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[1] Burton, Neel. “What Is the Meaning of Life?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 3 Mar. 2018.

[2] Perry JC, Presniak MD, Olson TR. Defense mechanisms in schizotypal, borderline, antisocial, and narcissistic personality disorders. Psychiatry. 2013 Spring;76(1):32-52. doi: 10.1521/psyc.2013.76.1.32. PMID: 23458114.

[3] “Can BPD Be Cured?” Bridges to Recovery.