When Reflective Awareness Saved the Session
When Reflective Awareness Saved the Session
How DDP Helps Clinicians Turn Emotional Chaos into Connection
Kelsey was already halfway out of her seat.
“Why do I even come here? You don’t care! You’re just like everyone else!”
Her voice was sharp. Her eyes welled up.
Her therapist felt the adrenaline kick in—the fight-or-flight response that many clinicians know too well when a session begins to spiral.
In that moment, they had three choices:
- Defend themselves.
- Retreat into silence.
- Use DDP.
They chose door number three.
“Kelsey,” the therapist said calmly, “before you go… what emotion is under that sentence, ‘You don’t care’?”
She froze. Blinked. Sat back down.
Silence. Then a whisper:
“I feel forgotten.”
That was the moment everything changed.
Why Reflective Awareness Is the Heartbeat of DDP
In traditional therapy, ruptures like these can derail the session—or the entire treatment. But in Dynamic Deconstructive Psychotherapy[1], emotional storms are not interruptions to therapy.
They are the therapy.
DDP[2] teaches therapists to respond not to the content of the outburst, but to the emotion underneath it. It’s not about fixing behavior or diffusing tension—it’s about helping clients become aware of what they’re feeling, and why.
For Kelsey, the therapist’s presence and curiosity disrupted a lifelong script: “When I explode, people leave.”
Instead, someone stayed.
And helped her find the emotion beneath the reaction.
This is reflective awareness in action.
The Method Behind the Moment
DDP[3] offers a repeatable, relationship-based framework for handling intense emotional dysregulation:
- Stay regulated: The therapist’s calm nervous system acts as a model for the clients.
- Stay present: Avoid retreating into technique or theory. Be real. Be human.
- Stay curious: Ask about the emotion beneath the emotion. Often, rage hides grief. Coldness masks fear. Disconnection conceals shame.
Kelsey’s therapist didn’t take her words personally. They leaned into the moment—and gave her something she’d never experienced: An emotional mirror instead of emotional abandonment.
From Rupture to Repair
The next session, Kelsey brought a cup of tea for her therapist.
She sat down and said, “I almost didn’t come. But I remembered that you didn’t leave when I got mad. That meant something.”
That moment wasn’t just a breakthrough.
It was a corrective emotional experience—the gold standard of trauma-informed care.
DDP[4] helps clients build a narrative in which they are no longer trapped by the past.
Where explosions don’t mean exile.
Where vulnerability doesn’t mean danger.
Where the space between stimulus and response is filled with possibility.
CALL TO ACTION:
Have you ever felt stuck in a session when a client lashes out, shuts down, or spirals emotionally?
You’re not alone—and you don’t have to stay stuck.
Join our Dynamic Deconstructive Psychotherapy Virtual Conference and learn how to stay grounded, respond with insight, and transform ruptures into relational repair.
Master the moments that matter most.
Date: Friday, June 13, 2025
Time: 9-1pm (EDT)
Click HERE to Register
[1] Majdara, Elahe, et al. “The Efficacy of Dynamic Deconstructive Psychotherapy in Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder: Introducing an Evidence-Based Therapeutic Model.” Studies in Medical Sciences 29.6 (2018): 1-19.
[2] Majdara, Elahe, et al. “Dynamic deconstructive psychotherapy in Iran: A randomized controlled trial with follow-up for borderline personality disorder.” Psychoanalytic Psychology 38.4 (2021): 328.
[3] Goldman, Gregory A., and Robert J. Gregory. “Preliminary relationships between adherence and outcome in dynamic deconstructive psychotherapy.” Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training 46.4 (2009): 480.
[4] Gregory, Robert J. “Manual of Dynamic Deconstructive Psychotherapy.”
