Who Am I To Me?

For many of us, we have been raised in a world where duality is emphasized and where taking the middle ground can be difficult to do, and can also be construed as being indecisive, as not taking a stand, or as not being “extremist” enough. However, those who are able to look at two opposite poles and still see the third option, the grey area, the balance between the two, are those who are sure to be on their way to Fulfillment or Self-Actualization.

One of the areas where duality often prevails is when it comes to the question of who am I, or who am I to me? I am a mother or a business owner.  I am male or female.  I am black or white.  I am right or wrong.  I am all these concepts or identities reinforced by the world around us.  Yet, the answer to these questions requires going beyond duality if it is to be an empowering one.

Who Am I, and/or who am I am to me is related to our Self-Concept. The definition of Self-Concept is the collection of beliefs about oneself, which embodies the answer to the question of who we are. Therefore, for us to fully answer the question, “Who Am I To Me”? or “Who Am I?” we are to look at our Self-Concept. Furthermore, for us to know what our Self-Concept is, we are to become aware of the collection of beliefs about ourselves that make up who we really are.

The starting point, therefore, requires us to take some time and list the set of beliefs we have about ourselves (Self-Concept). This set of beliefs that make up our self-concept can be broken down into three components:

1. Our Self-Image

2. Our Self-Esteem

3. Our Ideal Self

In the spirit of exploring our set of beliefs about ourselves, we can start with the first component of our Self-Concept, which is our Self-Image.  Here is a list of five questions that will help us start this process:

1. If I were to take 7 minutes and free write all my beliefs about myself, what would I be reading when I look back at that paper?

2. How do I view or perceive myself?

3. How do others perceive me?

4. What do I make of people’s perception of me?

5. From my answers to the above four questions, who am I to me?

We are at one of the most crucial aspects of our process of Self-Expression/Self-Actualization or Self-Fulfillment. Our level of investment in this process will determine where we go from here.

Thank you for who you are to you, to others, and to the world.

With Love,

Karen and Mardoche